"Agreements" Can Push Human Connectedness

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Having always been a person who "plays nicely," it did not bother the "me of 2005" when my principal first asked us to create norms for our collaborative teams. Back then, collaboration was still new and different in my district, and if norms were a part of it, so be it. However, once we were in our groups, negativity ensued.

...and it wasn't the only negativity I would ever experience around collaborative agreements. The key argument against them seems to be "We are adults; we don't need these to keep us on track!" This argument has been raised by at least one person in each school of which I have been fortunate enough to work. That said, if we step back and take a look at what powerful norms or agreements can look like, we - as adults - may have a different perspective.

The National School Reform Faculty pitches a variety of powerful "Agreements" as part of its Critical Friends Group trainings. A handful that I find most powerful include...
  • If you wonder, ask
  • Enjoy creative friction
  • Be willing to be disturbed
  • Listen for understanding
  • Be open to reflective silences
  • Assume good intentions
NSRF also has suggestions that some agreements that new groups may need, such as "Practice being fully present" and "Participate." However, I believe the intention of Norms or Agreements does not have to be pushing adults to do things that adults should expect one another to do. Instead, they can be agreements that push us to be more connected as humans. 

For instance, the first bullet above, "If you wonder, ask," encourages me to quit making assumptions about the people I work with and the ideas that they have. If what this person has said gives me pause, it is likely because I have questions about what that person has said. In the past, I have walked away from these conversations, sometimes thinking negatively about that person's perspective. However, if I had only asked some clarifying questions, I would have understood that person's position and intentions in saying what he or she had said.

Collaborative team meetings are a great time to practice interacting as humans; the success of our meetings very much relies on this interaction. However, if I can take these meeting interactions and transfer my behaviors to everyday life, the positive outcomes of everyday conversation will be substantial. The next time that your team is writing Norms or Agreements, remind your colleagues that the practice is not just about growing as a team, it's about growing as humans...and hopefully we all can easily embrace that!






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