Don't Leave a 'Hole' in your Disengagement Strategy Instruction

I have a gaping hole in my favorite dress shirt.

Last week, while teaching Unit 8 of the CPI Nonviolent Crisis Intervention Course, we were practicing clothing disengagements when a participant tore my shirt. Probably, I could sew it back together and get away with wearing it again. However, instead, I think I am going to hang it in a prominent location in my closet, serving as a reminder of two important things.

First, I must always be cognizant of being the best model I can be of these disengagement skills. When I am demonstrating these skills, I am not just modeling techniques for my participants to practice in a few moments, I am also showing how effective these disengagement techniques can be! As a result, I don’t fault my participant who tore my shirt; I should have been more cognizant of how well I was “creating a lever” when the activity called for one. Importantly, this participant was clutching my shirt in a realistically aggressive way. She needed me to show her I could get away from her. I did get away from her, but I could have done so with an intact shirt if I had been better focused on my disengagement technique.

The other thing my shirt reminds me is that I have a responsibility to coach my participants to be good practice partners prior to beginning our disengagement practice. While I learned a good lesson from having my shirt torn, I don’t want participants to leave with torn shirts or to have a negative experience in any other way. Instead, I want participants to be good “practice partners.”

At CPI, we like to encourage practice partners to provide “safe realism” for participants. Meaning, we want the activities to be “safe enough that nobody gets hurt” – or loses a shirt – and real enough that participants can genuinely learn. CPI Global Professional Manager John Hippe likes to encourage practice partners to “make [participants] work, to “help them learn” and not to “defeat them.” These principles take the idea of safe realism and provide specific reminders. If I had been better about reminding my participants of these principles on this day, my partner – whom I do not fault – may have let her grip give when she felt my shirt begin to tear!

John also encourages the posting of a poster on the wall that specifies the role of the practice partner. He believes that a participant should “keep [his or her] partner safe,” “help the partner learn,” and “provide your partner feedback.” I kind of look at this role a lot like I look at my role as a downhill skier. I’m not bad at carving my way down a mountain, but I must recognize that people around me may not be quite so adept. So, I need to have control of myself as a come downhill; it’s my fault if I run into somebody. It’s also a kind thing to help that person if he or she is in need. And if it’s one of my children or a friend, I should probably provide feedback, and help him or her to learn!

The Instructor Guide for our Nonviolent Crisis Intervention Training also encourages instructors to have participants “change partners frequently.” Doing so keeps people from getting so comfortable with one another that they either forget the importance of making it real enough that people can learn, or they become so comfortable that they begin to engage in horseplay.

One final tip on teaching these skills: give people a chance to practice, practice, practice! It’s important to have verbal cues to keep people on task. When I run the strike block exercises, I tell participants acting as people in crisis to “approach” and “strike” before I tell the participants acting as staff to “block” and “move.” I then immediately say “reset,” encouraging participants to return to their starting positions. If they don’t get to those starting positions quickly enough, I start the next repetition anyway, helping them get into the rhythm of my fast pace. I try to continue with this pace as we move into practice of the disengagement strategies. CPI Global Professional Manager Lesley Rynders concurs with this approach. “I cue fast and they are caught off-guard at first,” Lesley said, “but they keep us, and that helps them to get the repetition they need.”

Importantly, when I say “practice, practice, practice,” I also am referring to giving participants a chance to go well beyond the classroom models of these disengagement techniques. Give your participants a chance to vocalize what scares them about being held by a person in crisis…then give them a chance to practice working through it. Global Professional Instructor Elizabeth Mesjak encourages participants to find ways to “mitigate the risk.” She asks “Would it help for me to yell ‘help, help, help?’ How can another person assist me?” We have ways to mitigate risk of severe injury, if we can focus on this objectively. Elizabeth and Lesley both also find that participants become very creative after they know the classroom models. It’s not necessary for the instructor to have all the answers. “Don’t answer their questions [during the dynamic practice],” Lesley said, “They will come up with answers if they actually experience it.”

You don’t have to have your shirt rip to learn some of the lessons I have outlined here. I hope you can utilize some of these strategies to make your classroom environment one that is safe, real, and enjoyable for your participants…while keeping your clothes intact in the process!