Sleep Easy: Dig into those "Feedback Nightmares"

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The "Feedback Nightmares Activity" is one of the approximately 30 agenda items that compose a five-day Critical Friends Group Training, and almost undoubtedly, it is an agenda item that always earns a similarly nervous response from trainees when they see it on paper.  Nobody likes a nightmare, and unfortunately many of us have had nightmares that directly involve feedback. Frankly, we would rather not sift through that amidst an otherwise uplifting and pleasant training! However, this activity is meant to help us cast aside those nightmares, setting us up for a bright, new future where feedback can be received gracefully, so our practice can improve without having to experience embarrassment or pain.

To run this activity, I always share with my group a story of a real-life feedback experience that changed my career. I share how I spent hours preparing for a planned observation from one of my first administrators and created a lesson that I thought was both fun for students and effective in transferring learning, and all-in-all, things went as planned and the lesson was a success. But when the bell rang and the students shuffled out of the classroom, leaving just the administrator and me, his only comment was that I had used the word "okay" 72 times. Ironically, in response to this, all I could mutter was "okay."

He then let me know he would arrange for a time for us to meet to breakdown the lesson...and I had 28 new faces coming into the classroom to participate in the same activity. However, this time I would do so with a little less spunk, because I wasn't feeling so good anymore.

The truth is, I did use the word "okay" much too often. I would give the class an instruction, and then search for understanding using the word "okay." I was a man who feared "dead air," especially with an administrator present and even one second of wait time seemed like it could be too long. Plus, I was nervous, as first-year teachers often are in these cases, and probably used "okay" even more than usual.

After I share a story like this one, the group begins identifying some "do" and "don't" ideas regarding feedback, and I chart these responses. For my story, I usually have people suggest that we "do choose an effective time and place to deliver initial feedback" and that we "don't lead a feedback conversation with a negative comment." Likely, this administrator thought I could take it; I was a tough guy! However, even the toughest of guys can be brought down by poorly-introduced feedback, especially if he put a lot of time and effort into the work that is being criticized.

After the group has given me three or four "Do" and Don't" ideas from my story, I encourage them to think of their own stories and to come up with additional "Do" and "Don't" ideas. The process allows the participants to air some long-locked-up frustration with feedback they were given and allows their hurt feelings to be validated. However, more importantly, it also allows the group to be proactive in coming up with a list of "Do" and "Don't" statements they will use in their work with one another, going forward. 

Last week, I had a chance to work with fifth-grade students at a school in Imperial, Missouri, running this protocol, among others. It was the first time I had used the "Feedback Nightmares Activity" with a group this young. However, doing so extended my belief that any of the Critical Friends Group activities and protocols can be used with any age range. The results of this activity left me certain that a purposeful analysis of feedback in our schools and organizations could reshape our culture in unimaginable ways. Here are some of their responses:

DO...
  • Stay Calm
  • Help us!
  • Give good advice
  • Encourage us to do better
  • Be nice about it
  • Start with a compliment

DON'T...
  • Point out every little mistake
  • Compare my work to someone else
  • Use my wording in feedback to the entire class
  • Tell me my way is wrong
  • Use the word "we"
  • Say I have to work harder (sometimes I just don't get it)
Clearly, whether adults listen to the feedback experiences of kids, or to the feedback experiences of one another, we are bound to positively change our practices and to enhance our culture. I hope you will arrange for a time when you can listen to the feedback nightmares of your colleagues or students; I am confident the results will leave everyone sleeping more easily at night!

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